The first step is admitting you have a problem. I don’t even know where to begin.
Yesterday I cried, A LOT. Someone that I love and respect gave me some “tough love”. Everything he said was true. Everything he said I already knew, because he had said it to me before, on more than one occasion. Hearing the words (again) from someone that I love and respect, flooded me with emotion and tears and the reality of the situation slapped me across the face.
My name is Mia and I am an overachieving perfectionist people pleaser.
No matter how successful I am, I am never satisfied. I always want MORE. It is never good enough for me. The trouble is, the more successful I get, the more I want to do to improve.
The trouble with this mindset is that what is making me successful in the short term, is what will cause me to fail in the long term.
The more you try to be all things to people, you invariably will wind up in trouble.
And the same goes for Crossfit.
It is so easy to get caught up with all the things you need to improve. With social media you see all the “competitors” doing all the accessory stuff and you want to do that too.
You buy into the fact that you MUST need to DO MORE to be better.
The problem with CrossFit is that you need to be good at everything; gymnastics, weightlifting, running, rowing. You also need to work on your nutrition, your mobility and your mindset. And for a masters athlete, you also need manage all this, while holding a job, raising a family, and staying sane.
I can tell you from experience. This perception is FALSE.
The real hard truth is this: MORE IS LESS.
And this brings me back to why I cried so much yesterday.
When I am at the top of my game, I feel like I have to do more to get better. I am easily influenced by what I see on social media, products being sold for improving my ROM, my gymnastics and my mindset…. And I buy into it all.
The more I do, the more I will be. Right?
LESS IS MORE.
That is where the tough love comes in.
If you want to be successful, you need to narrow your focus in order to build in your area of weakness. You don’t have to do everything. In fact, the opposite is true. You need to give something up now, in order to get something in the future.
LESS IS MORE.
The trouble with this, is that the one thing you need to focus on is usually the one thing you have been avoiding for the following reasons:
- It is your biggest weakness and you feel like a failure in that area
- It is something that brings you pleasure in the short term but sabotages your effort in the long term (think booze and food).
- To improve that area will take a lot of frustrating hours of tedious work.
- It isn't fun.
And CrossFit mimics life.
It all comes down to this: If you want to improve in one area of your life (or CrossFit) you need to focus on that area in order to build it. This means you will have to give up something else.
When you go full speed ahead in all directions you may be a winner in the short term, but eventually you will lose.
To be successful in the long term, you need to give something up in the short term.
For me, it was about trying to DO IT ALL and failing at what I need to do THE MOST.
The exact thing that is bringing me joy in the short term (trying to do it all), will bring me pain in the long term (not reaching my goal).
Think about it in terms of a diet. A strict diet will give you the results you need in the short term (fast weight loss), but will make you a loser in the long term because it is not sustainable in the long term.
So what’s my point?
If your goal is to have fun NOW and you are not thinking of future goals, then keep having fun, doing what gives you pleasure and keeps you motivated.
That being said, if you are someone who has a purpose or a goal in mind you have to ask yourself this question:
What is the one thing stopping me from reaching my goal?
If there are more than one thing stopping you, then what is the biggest thing?
THAT is the one thing that you should be focused on.
It may be hard, it may be boring and it may not be what you want in the short term, but if you truly want to reach your goals, you will need to make that choice.
If you knew right now that you were guaranteed to reach your goal the choice would be easy. You would just do it. The problem is that nothing is guaranteed. No matter what happens I can guarantee you will be stronger no matter what the outcome is.
Pain now, or pain later
I know what I want. I want to go to the Crossfit Games.
LESS IS MORE. Time to get to work.
I am looking for feedback from my readers. What is the ONE THING stopping you from reaching your goals? What is causing you the BIGGEST PAIN? Because I want to help you.
I want to help you reach your goals and to do so I need to know what you struggle with.
What is your biggest roadblock? What do you think is the one thing, that if you did it, you would be closer to your goal?
I know for me it is FOCUS. LESS IS MORE. Singular focus. Confidence in myself and my abilities to get where I want to go.
If your one thing is a habit that needs to be changed, The Mindset Reset book will help get you started. Sign up for the newletter on my website and you will get a PDF copy of the book for free.
If you are looking for extra accountability, or one-on-one coaching let me know. We can have a FREE 1 hour call to see if I can help you. I know for me, my #1 reason for my success was hiring my coach. He’s the guy who keeps me focused when I lose my way. Without him I wouldn’t be where I am in Crossfit, or in life.
For those of you just starting out, the same applies. You can’t do it all. I wish I knew this earlier in life, or earlier in my CrossFit career. Start somewhere and keep doing it. The only way to get better is to get started, and the only way to become your best, is to never give up.
To do this, you must learn to master yourself: Your impatience, your fear of boredom, your fear and doubts, and your need for constant fun and amusement.
LESS IS MORE.
Respect the process. Develop patience and discipline. Take your time and work on your weaknesses. To reach the end of anything, to master a process or reaching a goal requires time, focus and energy.
The key is your level of desire. And no matter how high you reach, there is always a higher level to which you can aspire to be (but isn't that where the trouble began for me in the first place). Sigh!
Trust the process, enjoy the journey and get to work!